I’m going to talk about breastfeeding in this post and this is for two reasons. Firstly, because of a story in the news recently about a mum that was asked to cover up when breastfeeding her child on a plane. Now, I can kind of see both sides of this story. Why should the mum cover-up? Breastfeeding is natural. You wouldn’t ask someone to cover up if they giving the baby a bottle. How would you feel if you were out eating and someone asked you to cover your head? Would you like it? Just because you don’t agree with it, doesn’t mean it has to be censored.
However, it does depend on how the mum was breastfeeding the child. I can understand being asked to cover up if she’d whipped both baps out but really, that’s the only time a mum should be asked to be a bit more discrete.
Can you be discreet and breastfeed?
Now, saying that it is not always possible to be discreet. I remember this time last year, still so new to breastfeeding and I did try to spend the first few weeks at home because I literally did need to get my whole boob out to feed. I would be so nervous when out in public when it came time to feed. What if someone made a comment? What if they were rude? Will people stare at me? Will I be asked to leave? Also, it was so difficult always trying to find the best outfit to breastfeed in. Luckily in town, there are designated baby feeding rooms, where you can sit and pull a curtain across for privacy.
When I didn’t have that option Daz would dance around me with muslin, trying to keep me covered until I had Baby J latched on.
Once Daz was back at work I was on my own with breastfeeding in public. I would see other mums, breastfeeding with ease and confidence and would be so jealous! I managed with muslins for a while but then I discovered a breastfeeding cover. It was a bit like an apron and covered you up while feeding. Perfect. For a while anyway. Eventually, Baby J was big enough to decide that he no longer liked being covered and would try and pull the cover away. Fine, let’s try without. And actually, it was absolutely fine. We’d both gained so much confidence with feeding that we both found it easier. Except for when Baby J decided that he would like to see what was going on and would whip his head around leaving me exposed and shooting milk everywhere. Glamorous, right?
I was always too scared to share this picture before, but I’m feeling brave. This was taken just before Daz and I had our fight date night since becoming parents.
Ending our Breastfeeding journey
And to the second reason for talking about breastfeeding this week; me and Baby J are now nearing the end of our breastfeeding journey. I am both very sad and relieved about this. It makes me sad because I love the connection and bond that it gave me with my son but equally I just want my body back! I was pregnant for 86 weeks (okay 42 weeks but it really felt like longer!) and now I’ve been breastfeeding for over 1 year. I’ve just worked it out and it’s 97 weeks that my body has been used for, which I don’t mind at all, but I think we’re both ready now to stop.
I never had a set time for how long I was going to breastfeed for, it was always just ‘for as long as I can’. I always thought that I would stop if I ever got mastitis (absolutely awful, painful boobs with flu-like symptoms that you need antibiotics to clear up) but I got that once and carried on feeding. Then I always said once Baby J gets to 6 months and starts on solid food I’ll stop but it was just easier to carry on. Then I said once he gets teeth then I stop. Well, he has 6 teeth currently. Baby J is now on 3 meals and about 27,000 snacks a day and we only do one boob feed a day before bedtime so that’s it.
One of the reasons that we have breastfed for so long was due to Baby J not taking a bottle. No matter how hard we tried, he just would. Not. Take. A. Bottle!! There was screaming, crying and tantrums. Baby J wasn’t too happy either. (Yes, yes sis, you did warn me, I know!!)
What’s extra annoying about Baby J not taking a bottle is fact that me and Daz spent hours trying to find a steriliser. We went back and forth between shops before deciding on one. And now, it’s just collecting dust. So yeah, that was a big fun waste of time.
Problems with breastfeeding
Now, I realise that I have been extremely lucky with my breastfeeding journey. I never had to worry about supply issues, cluster feeding (where baby will be latched in you for hours or they have a lot of short feeds in a short space of time) Baby J didn’t have a tongue tie and Daz and my family have all been supportive. I have heard story’s and have friends that haven’t had such an easy ride.
Some have really wanted to breastfeed but not been able to, have been told by family members to just give the baby a bottle or given the baby a bottle and the baby has gotten a bottle preference.
The only time that I would suggest to a mum to give up breastfeeding if it’s affecting her mental health. Breastfeeding can be so difficult and some mums can put so much pressure on themselves. Now, I’m not saying to give up straight away as you do need to work at it and get over the tough part before it gets easier but if it does negatively affect you then do not feel guilty about giving formula. At the end of the day you being well and able to look after your little one well is more important than trying to persevere with breastfeeding.
I think if I had any hints or advice for any mum thinking of breastfeeding they would be:
1. Get breast pads, unless you like having two wet patches on your top. Your boobs will leak. Baby cries or you’re making lunch, watching tv, having a shower, it’s just going to happen
2. Yes, baby will likely want to feed for 26 hours a day.
3. If you have just fed baby and they start crying, they probably want to feed again. Yes, again.
4. Always make sure that you have a snack, drink, remote control, fully charged phone and empty bladder before you start feeding.
5. That crazy tingling feeling that you get in your boobs when feeding is normal. It’s called the let down.
6. The boob fixes everything. Honestly, they are magic. But I probably wouldn’t try using them on your boss though…
7. Be prepared for sore, dry, cracked, sore, bleeding, sore nipples for the first few months.
8. Breastfeeding is hard for the first few months but after you get the hang of it, it really is the most magical experience. It makes you feel like superwoman, feeding your precious little one and watching their chunky little legs getting bigger, and the double chin grow, knowing that you did that. And some days you will feel like a milking cow. It swings and roundabouts.
If you do need some help or advice with breastfeeding you can call your Health Visitor or Midwife and also visit the NHS website for some hints and tips.
I think whether you breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby it’s nobody else’s damn business. At the end of the day, it’s your baby and it’s your (and your partners) decision, no one else’s. And anyway, who asked their opinion? I’ve never bought into the whole thing of breast is best. As long as your baby is getting what they need what does it matter if it’s boob or formula? And why should it matter to anyone else? It shouldn’t and if it does, tell them to
fuck off go away before they get a face full of milk!! (Childish, I know!)