20 Real Life Tips For Successful Co-Parenting

*This is a guest post written for The Procrastinating Mum by AmyandRose

Achieving success in co-parenting can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. The following is a list of 20 tips on how to best co-parent your child in harmony. These helpful ideas will make you and the other parent feel empowered as they address any issues that may arise during this trying time for both parties involved!

20 tips to co-parent your child

1. Set goals and objectives

Both parties should set goals that will help the child feel secure, loved, and safe in both households. Objectives should be set to accomplish those goals. These goals and objectives will vary depending on the needs of your specific family and your unique situation. Be sure to make these goals achievable for everyone involved!

2. Share responsibilities

Both parties should share the responsibilities of care-taking. This includes tasks such as cooking, cleaning, managing finances, or taking your child to doctor’s appointments. Be sure to make a plan on how these tasks will be shared before instituting them. Also, make sure that each party is aware of what is expected of them!

3. Communicate

Communication is key when it comes to co-parenting. Communication helps both parties stay up to date on what’s going on in their child’s life, as well as their own lives. This includes school functions, extracurricular activities, and everyday events. Be sure to be upfront and honest with each other, as well as open to listening without judgment.

4. Continue their education

Children need to see that both parents are still a very important part of their lives even if they don’t live with them every day. This can be done by continuing their education, whether it is by attending parent-teacher conferences or staying active in their school. Amy suggests that taking part in your child’s school is also a great way for you to connect with their teachers and other authority figures, as well as get to know the staff.

5. Keep each other informed

Both parties must keep each other informed on issues that may arise in either household or with the child directly. This includes things such as doctor’s appointments, financial issues, or other important events that may have an impact on your child. Keeping each other informed can help to avoid misunderstandings and assumptions.

6. Focus on the positive

Both parties should keep things fair when it comes to discipline or punishment in both households. The last thing you want is for your child to be punished for something they did at the other parent’s house when it wasn’t their fault. Focus on behaviour and not specific instances, or you could cause more problems in the future.

7. Celebrate milestones together

Both parties should take time to celebrate milestones with their child, both big and small. This includes holidays, birthdays, and achievements such as making it to the honour roll. It’s important for children not to get caught up in arguments between their parents, so make sure that these celebrations are done together instead of it becoming a point of contention.

8. Be positive about each other

Your child needs to have a healthy sense of self-esteem and security when it comes to co-parenting. Both parties must remain positive about each other and focus on what they can give your child. This will promote trust and security between your child and both parents.

9. Be flexible

No one is perfect, so both parents need to remain flexible when it comes to co-parenting. Both parties should be willing to put aside their feelings or issues to help ensure the well-being of your child. Even if you don’t agree with something, just stepping back and letting things go can lead to a more positive outcome all around.

10. Set boundaries

Before you chose the separate paths, you and the other parent probably discussed what would be off-limits when it came to raising your child. Make sure that both parties don’t cross those boundaries as they could lead to more issues than solutions. For example, if the other parent doesn’t want their child dating until a certain age, don’t press them on it.

11. Foster respect

Respect for authority should be shown regardless of who or where the authority comes from. If your child is told not to play video games you both feel are inappropriate, then they shouldn’t be allowed regardless of which parent’s house they are playing at.

12. Be flexible

Both parties must learn how to compromise when it comes to co-parenting. Whether they change their plans so as not to inconvenience the other parent or something happens at the last minute, both parties should be willing to work out something that works for everyone.

13. Try not to brag

Even if you are happy with your new life, you mustn’t brag about living arrangements or relationship status around the child. If they ask questions, simply explain things in an age-appropriate way or let them know they can ask their other parent directly.

14. Be a role model

Both parents need to set an example of how to be a good person and take care of yourself as well as others. This means working out differences, maintaining your interests, and finding time to relax. Children should see that it’s possible to have a wonderful, successful life while still taking care of themselves and others.

15. Stay firm in your resolve

Both parties need to stay true to their decisions when it comes to co-parenting. If you have decided that there will be no communication between the two of you, then stick to it no matter what happens. The only way things will work is if both parties are committed to making your child’s happiness and well-being a priority.

16. Give space

One of the most important parts of co-parenting is allowing the child time alone with each parent. This can be difficult for many divorced parents, but it’s an incredibly important part of the process. If you don’t allow your child to have a relationship with the other parent, then communication between them will be limited, and things won’t run as smoothly.

17. Don’t fight in front of your children

It may be easier said than done, but try not to argue or fight in front of your children. If arguments have to happen, keep them between the parents and keep your child out of it. If you are arguing in front of your child, then you are sending them a message that this is how adults resolve their issues.

18. Don’t badmouth the other parent

Criticising one another is probably something both parties are guilty of at some point or another. It may be easier to blame the other parent and put them down, but neither of you must do this. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of the other person as well as your shortcomings if you tend to focus on those more.

19. Be open-minded

Both parties must be open to different parenting styles and ideas. If one party is too strict, then the other should try not to be too easy on the child. This will help them develop a strong sense of self which can only benefit them as they grow up. The same goes for if someone is more lenient than the other.

20. Remember that you’re a team

Though you may not be partners in a romantic sense anymore, it’s important that both parents still work together when it comes to co-parenting. This can make things easier if they can communicate regularly and be open with one another. If there are disagreements, try to resolve them maturely before involving your child.

One way that might help is if both parents sit down with their children and explain to them what is happening, why it’s happening, and how they will all be moving forward. By sitting down with your child and treating them with respect, you are showing that their needs are important to both of you.

Final Words

Many things can make co-parenting difficult. Not only do you have to worry about the child’s needs, but also your own. When you’re going through a divorce or break up and trying to change your life for the better, it may be easy to forget these basic ideas of how best to co-parent with your ex-partner.

One way you can help yourself remember is by sitting down with both parents and their children together and explaining what is happening as well as why they need each other now more than ever. It will show them that this isn’t just something adults do because we don’t like one another anymore; rather, we care deeply about our kids’ happiness which means working together despite any issues we might have had with one another.

Author BIO

Amy has a wealth of parenting experience, from when she was an expectant mother to now being the parent of both a teenager and preschooler. She’s been through it all: diapers, baby food, potty training, temper tantrums, and everything in-between! Her blog AmyandRose is aimed at simplifying life for new parents as they navigate their way through parenthood while balancing other aspects of life.

She is always available for those tough questions about sleep training or how to deal with the challenges of breastfeeding – not that she’s an expert on every topic! But if you’re looking for someone who can relate to your struggles as a parent, then Amy’s here for you.

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