Expectation Vs Reality of Becoming a Mum

I had so many ideas when I was pregnant about what I was going to be like becoming a mum and how I was going to spend my maternity leave. Did any of it compare to the idea I had in my head? Did it heck! Nothing ever works out the way you plan it, and when you throw a kid into the mix, there’s no hope!

Here is my expectation Vs reality of becoming a mum:

Parent And Baby Groups

Expectation – The babies would happily play with the toys whilst the parents all drink tea and coffee and overshare details of birth/lack of sleep/silent reflux and will become lifelong friends.

Reality – Your dear little one will cling to you like they fear for life, and with the noise that the children are making, it’s unlikely that you would be able to hear your own thoughts, let alone hold a conversation.

Not that you have found anyone there to have a conversation with because everyone already has their clique, and trying to join in with their conversation is like trying to squeeze into your pre-pregnancy jeans. You try, but it’s just no use. It’s not going to happen.

Fair enough, it’s not like this with every parent and baby group, but this is just from my experience.

Sleep

Expectation – No sleep ever again for the rest of your life.

Reality – No sleep ever again for the rest of your life.

No, actually, I was pleasantly surprised by how much baby J did sleep. Obviously, he didn’t sleep through the night until he was about one, but I didn’t expect him to. He would take about three naps a day and wake appropriately 4 or 5 times in the night for a feed in the first few months.

I remember hearing the advice from everyone, ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps’. I thought, okay, so when do I do the cooking, cleaning, tidying, ironing, and EAT?

But in reality, the cooking, cleaning, ironing etc., can all wait. When your baby goes to sleep, shove some food in your face and GO TO SLEEP. There’s a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.

Get some food in your face as soon as your baby goes down. It’s a well-known fact that a child can sense when its parent is about to sit down and enjoy a meal (or a slice of toast or stale cracker or whatever you had the energy to put together) from a mile off.

Beauty Regime

Expectation – Yes, becoming a mum means that I’ll have to cut down the amount of time I spend in the shower, but nothing will get in the way of putting my makeup on.

Reality – Honestly, I barely have time to go for a wee. Do you think I have time to do a winged liner and make sure that my eyebrows are ‘on fleek’? I’ve brushed my hair and teeth today, and I’ve got concealer and blusher on so that I don’t scare the kids by looking like the walking dead. Making sure that my baby is fed, clean, happy, and in the cutest outfit possible is more important.

Baby Massage Class

Expectation – My child and I would form a close bond, and I would learn how to massage and soothe all of their issues. It would help them fall asleep, aid digestion, improve circulation and help relieve any trapped wind (baby, not me).

Reality – Lovely lady leading the class will do an introduction, and baby will stare angelically at the teacher and smile away happily. The teacher will begin the massage. Baby will probably want to feed, and after this, you will need to burp your baby. You will miss the first 10-15 minutes of class.

You lay your child down and begin the massage. After approximately 3.67 seconds, your child will scream blue murder, so you pick your child up and calm them down. You try the massage again. Child will last 0.86 seconds before screaming again. You spend the rest of the class cuddling your child. The best part of the class is afterwards when you go and get coffee and cake with some of the other massage mums. Repeat for seven weeks. Vow to never do anything like it again. Sign up for music class a few weeks later.

Hair

Expectation – I will not have my hair chopped off into a bob like I see other new mums doing. I will not have my hair chopped off into a bob like I see other new mums doing.

Reality –

Damn it!

Housework

Expectation – When the baby is napping, I will wash the dishes, dust and run the hoover round. The experts say that the baby has to get used to loud noises during the day.

Reality – Hahaha!

Food then SLEEP. You have just spent 45 minutes trying to get your baby down for a nap. You are not going to do anything to risk waking them now. And honestly, people understand that you have a baby, and housework isn’t on the top of your list.

Baby Weaning

Expectation – I will cook from scratch nutritious and wholesome meals. I do not want my baby to eat processed foods.

Reality – Thank god for Ellas Kitchen; that’s all I can say.

Yes, we had spaghetti bolognese, stir fry, roast dinner etc., but those days where you can’t figure out how to make a baby-friendly version of what your making (chicken curry??) or you just want to order a pizza, then those Ellas Kitchen pouches were a lifesaver.

Mum Friends

Expectation – My sister made some lovely mum friends when she was pregnant, but I never expected to make close bonds with anyone. I already have the bestest friends, why would I need more? Anyway, you’re only making friends because you have children of the same age.

Reality – I couldn’t have been further from the truth with my expectation. I have made some amazing friends from doing the Knowing Me, Knowing You course from when my anxiety returned. And I still have my friends from before too. I am so thankful for them all ❤️

Do you agree with the above or did you have a different experience of becoming a mum? Let me know in the comments 😊

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Featured Image by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash