What To Expect During A Smear Test

With Cervical Cancer Prevention Week coming up next week, I thought now would be a great time to talk about smear tests or cervical screening. I know that some women and people with a cervix can find it a difficult subject to talk about; however, it’s one that NEEDS to be talked about.

According to Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, one in three people do not attend their smear test. That is a considerable number of people missing their tests! Hopefully, with today’s post, I will be able to put your mind at ease slightly by explaining what you can expect to happen during a test.

Booking Your Test

When you get that letter saying you need your smear test, I recommend calling the doctor’s surgery right away. Don’t put the letter down or file it in your ‘To Do’ pile; just get it over and done with. I know what happens when things get filed in ‘To Do’. They never get done. I know this because I am a procrastinator, and I’m forever putting things off until ‘tomorrow’.

Try and find a suitable date and time to suit you. During your lunch break from work probably isn’t an ideal time. Rushing from home or work to the doctor’s surgery and back again isn’t going to do your nerves any favours. A morning appointment is always a good idea because then you can just get it over and done with. Maybe not, though, if you’re not a morning person. Again, with the rushing.

Ask if you are allowed a chaperone to accompany you – a friend or a partner. They’ll be behind the curtain, so they won’t see anything, but they’ll be there for moral support.

You may also be able to request a male or female Nurse to perform the test, depending on what you are more comfortable with.

Preparing For Your Test

Avoid douching, any vaginal medicines, and intercourse 2-3 days before your test. This includes using anything with creams, lubricants and jellies as it can interfere with your results.

You don’t have to worry about trimming your lady garden into a pretty pattern or anything like that – unless that’s your typical style, of course. Trimmed, waxed, smooth, or wild and free, just stick to whatever is normal for you.

The Day Of The Test

Wash as you normally would; you don’t need to do anything special. It’s actually better not to overdo it. The PH balance of your vagina is so delicate that over-cleaning can disrupt that and can cause issues. AND did you know that the vagina is self-cleaning? Little fact for you there.

Unfortunately, if you get your period on the day of your test, you will need to cancel. The blood makes the cells difficult to read.

Pick clothes that you will be comfortable in. A dress or skirt (if you wear them) is a good choice as all you need to do is remove your underwear and lift your skirt. Definitely do not wear some kind of one-piece as you’ll need to get naked.

The Test

You’ll be asked to remove the clothes you’re wearing on your bottom half and lay on the bed. They’ll pull the curtain across so that you can undress in private.

I used to agonise about whether to keep my socks on or not. Wearing socks when you’re not wearing underwear or trousers feels so unnatural to me, and I HATE it. But I keep them on when having a smear test. Also, where do you put your knickers? Leave them on top of your trousers or hide them underneath? (It feels like a silly thing to worry about when you consider where the nurse is going to be looking, but I digress.)

*I always hide my knickers*

The nurse will give you a towel or similar to cover yourself over, and then you can call them in. They might ask you to scoot down to the bottom of the bed. You’ll then bend your knees and bring your heels to your bottom and allow your legs to flop open to the sides.

Sometimes, if they cannot get a good enough view, they may ask you to form fists and pop them under your hips so that you are slightly elevated.

Now is when they will insert the vaginal speculum. They might use some lubricant. The speculum is then opened so that they can see your cervix. Next, they’ll collect a small number of cells from your vagina walls using a soft brush. The speculum will be closed and removed.

They’ll give you some tissue to clean up if you need to, and they’ll give you some privacy to get dressed again, and that’s it.

What Are They Testing For?

A smear test is to check the health of your cervix. It is not to check for cancer.

The sample is checked for certain types of human papillomavirus (HPV) that can cause changes to the cells of your cervix. These are called “high risk” types of HPV. If these types of HPV are found, the sample is then checked for any changes in the cells of your cervix. These can then be treated before they get a chance to turn into cervical cancer.

NHS Website

Results

Result times do vary, so the nurse will let you know when to expect them. Don’t worry if they take a long time. Sometimes they do get swamped, so results can be delayed.

If everything comes back clear, then you’re done for five years.

If HPV is found, but there are no abnormal cells, you will have another smear test in 1 year to check again.

Should PHV be found, along with abnormal cells, you will be invited for a colposcopy to check your cervix further. The letter from your GP will explain everything and the next steps.

The test might come back inconclusive or inadequate. This just means that not enough cells were collected, and you will need to go back in 3 months to have it repeated.

Is Anyone Exempt From Having A Smear Test?

Once a person with a cervix reaches the age of 64, they no longer need to go for routine smear tests. You will not be invited until you reach 25, as it’s deemed that cervical cancer is very rare in people under the age of 25. Anyone who has a hysterectomy no longer has to have them, and pregnant women are also exempt until three months after giving birth.

Trans Male and Non-Binary

Anyone who was assigned female at birth and has not had a full hysterectomy to remove their womb and cervix may still be invited to have a smear test. I understand that this can be very distressing for anyone, so I have linked a page from The Eve Appeal here.

How Often Are Smear Tests Done

Until recently, people aged 25 to 49 were invited every three years and every five years if aged between 50 and 64. They (whoever ‘they’ are) changed this to every five years for everyone aged between 25 and 64.

The risk of developing cancer or cancerous cells in the space of 5 years is apparently very low, so the decision was made to change this to every five years. Personally, I am shocked at this change and have signed the petition to have this changed to every three years. If you want to sign this, you can do so here.

Something To Remember

The nurses see hundreds of people every day and perform a LOT of smear tests. Unless you have something like Jumanji going on in there, I doubt they’ll remember you. Your fanny is not that special.

I hope that this post has helped anyone who is nervous about getting their smear test done. Please, please do not put it off. It might just save your life.

Cover Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash