If you have been following my blog for a while, you’ll know that my husband and I tried to conceive our little one for nearly 3 years. I cannot count the number of times that we had a negative pregnancy test during that time.
If you are or have ever been trying to conceive, chances are you have seen a negative pregnancy test. Whether it’s your first, tenth, or thousandth negative pregnancy test, it hurts the same. Every. Single. Time.
In this post, I’m just giving a little advice on how to deal with it. I’m no expert, but these are just the things that I found helped me and hopefully, they’ll help you too.
When To Test
*I know if you’re reading this, you probably have already had a negative pregnancy test, so you can skip this step if you want*
If you can – if it’s possible – hold out until the weekend or a non-working day to do the test. If you do the test on a workday and it’s negative, you’ll be going to work in a bad mood. At least if it’s a weekend or a non-working day and it’s negative, you can sit at home and not worry about interacting with people and having to put on a happy face.
What To Do Next
You’ve got a negative pregnancy test…again. I know how you are feeling, I really do. I know just how much it hurts. My advice – let that pain out. If you need to cry, cry. If you want to shout, shout. Scream into a pillow if you need to. Don’t hold all that emotion in. Because if you do it will eat away at you and before you know it you’ve blown up in somebody’s face because they’ve looked at you wrong or they’re breathing too loud or something equally as little.
Give yourself the evening off. Have a naughty tea, get your favourite treat in, a glass of wine maybe, a nice bath, or stick a film on. If you haven’t cried, stick a sad film on and let it all out. You’ll feel a little better for having a cry and taking some time for yourself.
Speak To Your Partner
Chances are your partner is just as upset as you are. Don’t assume that they don’t care because they’ve reacted differently to you. Don’t shut them out either. Talk about it. Be open and honest and support each other. You are in this together.
Be kind to yourself. Whether your infertility is female factor, male factor, or unexplained. Just be kind to yourself and your partner. Do not play the blame game.
Give yourself a day or two to be sad, then start again. You must give yourself the time to be upset. Equally though, you can’t wallow and obsess over it (easier said than done, I know!).
I want you to know that you are not alone. Speak to friends or family members. Join groups on Facebook or online. One website that I loved was Fertility Friends or there’s also the Fertility Network UK.
If you find that you are really struggling with low mood, please do take steps to look after your mental health or seek help. Go to the Doctors, speak to friends and family members. Please don’t suffer in silence.