For as long as I can remember, I have never been overly happy with my weight – apart from when I was pregnant and shortly after giving birth. When I was younger I wasn’t exactly fat but I wasn’t slim either. Then as I’ve gotten older, my weight has just increased with me.
The reason – I LOVE food and hate exercise. It’s as simple as that.
Well, things have to change. I am at the point now where I am really unhappy with how I look! Did you know that I weigh more now than when I was 22 months pregnant? At least it felt like I was pregnant for 22 months.
But What About Being Confident In Your Own Skin?
So, I know that I’ve spoken about body image before in ‘Being Confident In Your Own Skin‘ and how we should accept ourselves for who we are and I still stand by that. Anyway, for a while, I was happy with how I looked.
But right now, I’m unhealthy and unhappy. My clothes no longer fit and I’m uncomfortable. And probably the most annoying things is the dreaded chub-rub and my back fat touching. If you know, you know.
My weight has always fluctuated, as you can see from my pictures below:
I was so happy with how my body looked after giving birth. Due to breastfeeding, the baby weight just fell off and I could eat what I wanted and still didn’t gain weight. It was amazing!
2011 was probably the best and the worst. I’ll be honest, I still love how I look in that picture. I was 9 stone. However, looking back, I think I had the starting of an eating disorder.
I would survive on the bare minimum food that I could. I would go to the gym after work, then come home and do another workout. It was extremely hard work. And yet I still wasn’t happy with how I looked. I wanted to lose more weight. According to my BMI for my hight, I could lose another half a stone. Yet, I had pushed my body to the limit to look like that. Living how I was, was definitely not maintainable.
So Why Am I Telling You All This?
Well, because I know that losing weight won’t make me happy. But I will be more comfortable. Plus, if I say it out loud and document my journey there’s no excuse then.
This is what I look like today:
MY WEIGHT: 14st 2 lbs and a half. This is the most that I have ever weighed 😔
Yes, that is an awful picture but this is me right now. My after picture is going to look incredible next to this one 🤣
I’m not going to be overly strict with myself at the start. I’m going to start slowly and make small changes using what I learnt when I was doing Slimming World a few years ago. Hopefully then I’ll be more likely to stick with it. The weight that I am comfortable around is 11st so I think that is what I’ll aim for.
And I think that’s it for now. I’ll keep you all updated with my progress in my monthly ‘Looking Back‘ posts. Wish me luck.
Also, pray for my family – I get HANGRY!