Me, Daz and Little J put our Christmas decorations up this week, and it got me thinking about before we’d managed to conceive our little one.
Every year – after we got married – once the Christmas tree and decorations were down from the attic, and me and Daz were decorating the house, I would say to him, ‘Maybe next year we’ll be doing this with a baby. Then the next year would roll around, and we still wouldn’t be pregnant. I would find that so heartbreaking. What was it that made Christmas different?
Infertility is an arduous, heartbreaking journey at any time of the year. But, for some reason, Christmas always seemed worse to me. If you have read my previous posts, you’ll know me and Darren tried to conceive for almost three years. I know that it isn’t a long time compared to some people’s journey. But infertility is challenging regardless of how long you’ve been on your journey. Each day, week, month and year that goes by can feel like an eternity.
I remember having a conversation with someone one year about Christmas, and they said that Christmas is nothing without children. It upset me, and I still don’t agree with this now. Christmas is about presents and food. Haha, I’m joking (kind of!). It’s about spending time with your loved ones, not worrying about calories and enjoying yourself.
For anyone struggling
For anyone struggling with infertility and finding the Christmas season difficult, I completely get it. I know what you’re going through, and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this at the moment. Just know that I’m here if you want to talk. Alternatively, there is a lovely group on Facebook called IVF/TTC: A place to talk where you can chat or ask questions.
Also, don’t feel like you have to hold it all in. You’re allowed to show emotions. Find someone you trust and let it all out. And if you’re not comfortable doing that, put on a sad film and have a bloody good cry; it’s good to let it all out.
I am sending so much love, good vibes and baby dust to you.