WE MADE IT TO 2021! Is 2021 going to be better than 2020? Who knows?
No big introduction today, let’s just get straight into looking back at 2020. Let’s go ⬇︎
It feels weird to be writing again! The last time I sat down to write was 13th December! The plan was to take some time away from my blog for the Christmas break anyway, but I actually took longer than expected.
I found that I was getting burnt out with trying to write, promote on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, create and schedule Pins, come up with new post ideas and everything else that goes with blogging. I had fallen out of love with blogging and it was making it difficult to get the motivation together to do those jobs.
So, I took time away. I didn’t promote my posts on Facebook or Twitter and I stopped creating and scheduling Pins. I had always been so scared of not doing those things for fear of what would happen. Would the world stop turning, would the birds stop singing, would the stars fall from the sky? Of course not! And actually, even though I only published 3 posts (well, 2 as one was from my new regular guest poster!) and stopped promoting, I still managed over 1,100 views for December. Compare that to December 2019 where I published 8 posts and had 385 views. It’s mad!
2020 has been a funny year for my blogging journey. It was my first full year of blogging and it has definitely had its ups and downs. Sometimes I’m super motivated and other times I’ve wanted to pack it all in! Throughout the year, my month views have steadily increased which is awesome! For the whole of 2020, I had 9,442 views!
I find that I get quite overwhelmed with the amount to do and I tend to…procrastinate. So, I have a brand new diary from Personal Planner which will hopefully keep me on track!
I don’t think I took my weight loss too seriously last year. The weight did begin to come off a tiny bit, but I wasn’t exactly doing much to help it.
Being completely honest, over Christmas, I have COMPLETELY let myself go. I have eaten chocolate, sweets and everything else you’re meant to feast on during the festive period. Plus, a fair amount of alcohol has also been drunk. This means that I am looking and feeling VERY bloated.
But do you know what? I’m not beating myself up about it. I just know that I need to make an effort this year to get healthier.
Christmas and New Year
Thankfully, Daz and I had already decided to spend Christmas at home last year. We just couldn’t work out a fair way of seeing my family and his family without breaking the rules. So when Boris Johnson made the announcement about Boxing Day, it made us realise that we had made the right decision.
We actually had a lovely relaxing day and we cooked our first Christmas dinner at home. We had Gammon, which I had cooked overnight in the slow cooker in orange juice and honey, we had a 5 bird roasting joint, roast potatoes cooked in goose fat and Brussel sprouts cooked with leeks, a bit of garlic and bacon.
Obviously, I was gutted that for the first time ever I wasn’t able to see my family or Darren’s family. At my mum’s, there is normally quite a few of us. There is noise, kids and wrapping paper everywhere. Fingers crossed that we kick COVIDs butt this year so we can celebrate with our families again!
On New Year we FaceTimed with some friends for over 2 hours then I watched The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and Darren played Fifa! A perfectly acceptable way to ring in the new year, right?
If you’ve followed me for a while now you’ll know that I recently reduced my sertraline dose. There have been one or two times that I have questioned whether this was the right choice but overall I appear to be doing okay.
I’m going to make sure that I spend more time enjoying things this year, rather than just living through them. I really want to start enjoying the little moments, rather than waiting for the big moments to enjoy. Does that make sense?
Lockdown and the restrictions have been tough on everyone. I would not claim that my experience has been worse than anyone else but my husband and I have had some VERY tough times with Little J this year. Every time that I think he can’t get any worse behaved, somehow, he does. The temper tantrums are now OFF THE CHART!
We were never overly social but me and Little J had our groups that we would go to each week, we would meet up with friends for soft play, pop to town, see the nannies, granddads, aunties, uncles, cousins. Then it just all stopped, almost overnight. Screen time has increased and patience has reduced.
Due to us going out less, less energy was being used up and Little J dropped his one nap a day a couple of weeks into March. Currently, his new thing to do is wake up between 11 and 12 at night and stay awake for 3 hours despite being absolutely exhausted. Cue some VERY exhausted and fed-up parents.
I do believe that lockdown and all these restrictions will have a long-term effect on children’s mental health and development. Little J is not getting the social interaction he needs and I think in the future we are going to have a lot of very socially awkward, antisocial children and young adults. Well, you know, more so than we do right now.
It also makes me sad to think about all the new parents this year. Having a baby is such a joyful, magical time but also scary experience. Yet some poor women had to go through certain stages of pregnancy and childbirth without their partner by their sides. They then weren’t able to go and show their beautiful little miracle off to the world. They were robbed of their wonderful little baby bubble that every new parent should get to experience.
The the worst part of all this though? There is no one to blame.
Lockdown & Restrictions
Like I said above, I am not claiming that my experience of this pandemic has been worse or harder for me than anyone else. Some days, staying at home, not having to see anyone and just chilling seems like the easiest thing in the world. Chill in your PJ’s until noon? Great, done!
Some days though, I feel like my house is suffocating me. Every room of the house seems to be getting smaller and smaller.
I miss just being able to pop to the shop quickly, to go to the park without taking wipes and anti-bac, going to my mums or mothers-in-law, thinking that I might take a drive to town for a look round the shops, texting a friend to see if they want to go out for a coffee or come over for a cuppa.
I am fed up of how dirty I feel when I come back from doing a food shop, how I can’t see my mum and dad but I could go out and eat a meal and how I feel like I have to give everything a wipe down before I even allow it in the house.
But most of all, I am fed up of up being scared of the world and the people within it. I’ve never liked crowds, but whereas before it would just mildly irritating to have someone too close to me, now I fear for myself and my family.
Also, I just want to see my mum and give her a hug and get drunk with my sister.
Well….that all got a bit more dramatic than I was expecting. Shall we set some goals for 2021?
Goals for 2021
- STOP COMPARING MY JOURNEY WITH EVERYONE ELSE’S – Something I need to remember is – comparison is the thief of joy. Someone doing well does not mean that I have failed. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for people doing well when they have worked hard for it, but I do need to remember that it doesn’t mean that my time won’t come!
- Be more organised – I am DETERMINED to become more organised this year! I say it every year, but this time I have to!
- Get 10,000 views for the year – I would really like to hit 10,000 views this year. I almost made it last year so I’m hoping that this is my year!
Well, 2020 was a year, wasn’t it? Well done for making it through to the other side, I know it hasn’t been easy. I have certainly had my fair share of up’s and downs and I know that everyone else has as well.
I also just want to say thank you so much to everyone that has supported me in 2020, you have no idea how much I appreciate every view, like, share, comment and follow. Being a small blogger, you have no idea how much of a difference it makes. I look forward to sharing more with you in 2021.
Thanks for looking back at 2020 with me!